Some blog

Well, I have not "blogged" since August 4. I have been back and forth between home and my "southern" home twice since then... I have been reluctant to tell people that I have started a blog, because I am somewhat shy about having people actually read this. I mean, really... who would want to read any of this... But, I finally admitted to my mother I had started a blog. Her response (not making this up at all) when I told her about the blog, but that I hadn't written anything in about 2 weeks, was "humphmm.. some blog." Some blog indeed. So, I will try to be more diligent in jotting down some thoughts as I have them...
One of the things I have noticed is that I seem to spend a great deal of time missing stuff, people, pets. I miss my own bed and my own kitchen. My own TV and my own remote. My own coffee maker, ironing board, refrigerator, computer, just all the silly everyday things one lives with. As of now, I'm still living in mama's house, on the porch and out of suitcase, basically...  It just gets old. Renovation on the little "apartment" is at a standstill. I need to get my retirement money so I can purchase a few necessites. Like a commode... I miss my husband, my friends, my son and his wife and my kitty cat. I do get to see my daughter more often, and that's great. But, I'm really missing the old routines and even missing aspects of my old job... I've started doing some independent contract work for a suburban school district. Which I think I'm going to like very much, but I'm still in that "rookie" mode that I just hate... I just hate that being unsure of what I'm supposed to do or how I'm supposed to do it. I can't even begin to explain how I miss my husband. I just can't go there right now. I miss my Marcy and Tracy, and Susan and Jaclyn, and Jana, just to name a few.... While I don't feel truly isolated or lonely, I just miss that banter and interaction I once had with people I had much in common with. I knew things would change, and I can sense the changes when I talk on the phone with them. They are up to their asses in work and of that world I recently left... And while I'm familiar with what they are doing and where they are, I'm now an outsider and I can sense it.. It will take a while to adjust to the changes in those relationships and I'm hopeful that I will be able to maintain some connection with them all.

My aunt is hanging in there. She had an appointment last week with the oncologist. He took her off the Nexavar because she had lost so much weight and was generally not feeling well. She seems to feel better and is beginning to eat better. He wants to see how she is feeling after a month off the cancer med... Whether or not she'll be able to go back on it remains to be seen.  She is sort of odd mentally. Like today, she was asking for this hair gel she had that was in a gray bottle. The fact that she has lost about 75% of her hair seems to be of little concern... She has been living in this house with her sister (aka mama) almost a year and there has never been a gray bottle of hair gel in this house. In fact, the hairdresser that sold her that hair gel has not been seen in over a year, possibly two... So, I am not sure where this memory of hair gel came from. It's just weird, her memory. She can't remember what time the game comes on, or what channel "The Glades" or "Memphis Beat" is on, or even what day they air, but she remembers gray-bottle hair gel that she hasn't probably used in more than 2 years...

Well, I have to get up at 6 in the morning to drive about 70 miles to work. And, in a little while I will need to check on auntie to make sure she gets to the right channel to watch "The Glades".  It's not important that she probably can't follow the story line, but that she can watch her favorite TV show...